January 1st, 2012, the beginning of yet another new year. This is the year that I will turn 50—where have the years gone? Growing from a girl into a woman, getting married, raising a family, becoming a grandmother and now, starting a new career–it all seems to have happened so fast. I think that I always expected to be ‘wise’ and ‘mature’ by the time I reached the ripe old age of 50, but that isn’t the case.
I’ve learned many things about life, myself, human nature, love, pain and how they all meld together. I’ve experienced how incredibly rewarding and joyful life can be, but also how agonizingly painful it can be at times as well.
There are so many things that bring me joy—-the sun creeping over the horizon in the morning, hearing my granddaughter gleefully call my name, Me-maw, knowing that I was able to bring even a little bit of love and joy to someone’s heart and yes, making jewelry also brings me joy. It is truly a delight for me to create pieces that bring me pleasure and will hopefully provide enjoyment for the person who eventually wears it.
There are many things that bring me pain as well—-seeing people I love in pain, grieving losses in my own life and working through the guilt and regret of times when my actions caused hurt in someone else’s heart.
What do I hope for in 2012? I hope for peace—not the simple kind of ‘peace’, but a peace that resides deep within my soul. I’ve spent a great deal of time looking back in time and examining the events in my life and how they have shaped me. I intend to start purposefully looking to the future and hopefully begin to discover what I am to do with the rest of my life—however long or short that may be.
One of the biggest pieces in the path for my future is God. Yes, I believe there is a God, but I’ve realized that some of what I’ve always thought about Him/Her may not be totally accurate. I will be doing much reading, praying and meditating to hopefully get a glimpse of who He/She really is.
One thing I’ve started to read is One Thousand Gifts, by Ann Voskamp. In it she talks about making a list of 1000 things that she is grateful for. It seems that doing something that simple has made a huge impact on her life and her relationship with God. This morning I started my own list.
I hope to be looking at life with new eyes and trying to see all of the tiny gifts that God might possibly be giving me each day. It might be something as simple as feeling warmth of the sun shining in my window as I type these words. It will be interesting to see if this practice impacts my life in any significant way. I can tell you that I received a very special gift this morning—-one that has great meaning, one that came as a complete surprise and one that I almost missed. I’ll share more about this special gift sometime soon, but for now I simply want to savor it.
I’m not sure who I’ll be, where I’ll be or what I’ll be doing at the end of 2012, but I do hope that I will be at peace, both with myself and with God. I wish the same for you. This life has many difficult and painful aspects and if there is a truly loving God who wants to give us each special gifts/joys, I hope that we all can begin to see them and be thankful for them…..even if it is in the midst of pain.
That is what my “Happy New Year” means to all those that I love.
Happy New Year!