“Write your hurts in the SAND and you blessings in STONE.”
When I first read this quote I liked it, however, I changed my mind as I thought about it. I realized that it’s not really possible to do, nor is it a beneficial thing to even try to do. No matter how much we may try to deny it, we ARE a product of all our past experiences — the bad as well as the good. Each and every thing that enters our life shapes us in some way. Everyone experiences hurts as well as blessings and it is impossible to have the hurts simply disappear like words that are written in sand.
None of us can choose when or how a painful circumstance may enter our lives, but we can choose how we allow events to change us. I know it sounds cliche’ to talk about pain making you stronger, but if you spend time with people who have experienced deep wounding in their life, you will often find this to be true. Walking through painful times can allow people to find a strength they had not yet known was possible. People often come through tough experiences stronger than they went into them. This definitely isn’t something that happens in a day, a month, or even a year–it is a long and arduous process of facing the hurt, allowing yourself to grieve and then finding ways to live your life while your heart begins to heal.
Brokenness in our lives can not only make people stronger, but can make them more beautiful. A person who has come through hard times in life is often capable of deeper levels of acceptance, forgiveness, compassion and love. There is a profound and indescribable beauty in someone who has walked through a deep pain and is then able to show someone else amazing compassion. Having a friend who is truly able to understand your pain can be an incredible comfort. Being able to see that someone has survived that kind of pain can give hope to one who may be at the beginning of that journey.
If you are in deep pain right now, I hope my words don’t come across as thoughtless or cavalier. I’m not saying any of these things lightly because I, myself, am one who is still in the process of healing and trying to internalize these things. Wherever you are on your journey it is my hope and prayer that you are able to find that strength inside of you, but that you also find people you can lean on when you need it. Whatever you may be experiencing in life, I would encourage you accept the fact that it is not ‘written in sand’, whether it be joy or pain. You can’t always control what may come into your life or what may be taken away, but you can make a choice in how you allow it to change you. I, for one, hope to allow both good and bad times to shape me into someone who is stronger and more beautiful.
Some choose to allow their pain to turn into bitterness and that is a very sad thing to see. My beliefs may be different than yours, but I feel that some help from God is needed to bring true strength and beauty out of pain. In my experience, my own prayers and those of my friends have helped immensely. I am at a point in the process that I can begin to see that I am a stronger and more compassionate woman than I used to be. It is my hope and prayer that you will be able to see the strength and beauty in yourself that pain may have ‘forged’ in your life and that you will find a new or renewed faith in our Heavenly Father/Mother as a result.